I’ve been in the thick of what they call the “4 month sleep regression.” If I’m honest, there’s a lot about the last 14 days that I frankly don’t remember. My little one has been waking multiple times in the night so I have not gotten much quality sleep, or honestly sleep at all!
What’s happening is actually an overhaul in his brain, a rewiring of sleep patterns as he shifts from newborn sleep to more adult-like sleep. It’s completely normal and healthy. But when paired with other leaps and bounds in development, it makes for a rough patch for the night shift. And the day shift requires a lot of caffeine as well!
The words “regression” and “overhaul” don’t really have the same meaning, so it was confusing at first when I started looking into what was happening with my child. “Regression” makes it sound like he’s going backward. “Overhaul” is more an indication that change is happening and that it’ll all come out in the wash if I just hang in there.
If I’m honest, in the last year or so of my life I feel like I’ve been going through a long regression myself. Many things I thought were going to be stable long term have been stripped away and I’ve found myself with a lot of change on my hands. I haven’t been loving it either! I know I’ve written recently about feeling adrift and somewhat lost, but as I sit here at the table, typing out this post and eating some ice cream, I’m realizing that the 4 month sleep regression is actually helping me find encouragement in my current situation.
Because what if I’m not actually “regressing” (even though it feels like it!) and instead, what if this is just an overhaul? What if it’s a shift from “newborn sleep” (something I’m outgrowing) to “more adult-like sleep patterns” (the next stage of maturity and growing up)? What if what I’ve been going through is just setting the stage for the next thing God has for me, and when I’m finished with this overhaul I will actually be ready to step into that thing?
Obviously, in the thick of it, it’s hard to see and appreciate what’s happening. My baby doesn’t know that his brain is growing up; he just knows he’s waking up and wants his mama because it’s hard going back to sleep on his own while he’s majorly changing. For me, all I know is that change is happening: I don’t know what the results of the change is going to be. This “regression” is currently a long one and I apparently haven’t arrived at the next stage yet!
I know that my baby’s sleep won’t be disturbed forever. It’s just a bumpy period that we endure, cuddle through, and survive.
The same is actually true for me. It’s a bumpy period, but if I lean into God, “cuddle” in His presence, and endure, I will get through it! And not only survive, but arrive stronger than I was before.
God knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11) and He knows what’s ahead of me. I don’t have to handle this on my own–in fact, I’ll just make a right mess of it if I try to! He’s got this, and His voice will direct me where to go, whether left or right, as long as I listen in and lean into His presence (Isaiah 30:21).
We’re going to make it through this, because it’s not going backward! It’s not “just a regression,” it’s an overhaul! And we will both arrive on the other side of it stronger and more capable of being who we are created to be, both at 4 months old and almost 35 years old!
If you’re also going through an overhaul, know you aren’t alone. There’s purpose in this mess. Lean into Him and you’ll make it to the other side stronger and more capable.
Blessings,
~Lynne
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