The other evening I was going through my email and actually reading some of it (because who has time to do that regularly as a mom of a 15 week old?). I haven’t had the emotional or mental capacity to delve too deeply into the prophetic word emails I get but there was one that I opened and began to read and boy, let me tell you, it was just what I needed.
You can read the full word by Nate Johnson here and I hope it encourages you like it did me, especially if you find yourself plodding through a desert season where you just don’t know what to do.
I realized again that it has been a year since the failed attempt at reconciliation over an issue that led me to leave the church where I had been committed and serving. While I have been growing and raising a child for a lot of that year, I still feel an emptiness inside because I miss serving. I miss being connected like I was. I find I still have some residual anger and a lot of sadness. Yes, I have been attending a church and there are plenty of opportunities to get involved, but whenever I think about diving in, I feel a hold on my soul. Something always says not yet.
In that prophetic word, the phrase “new wine” is used and that always brings me to a worship song by Hillsong called “New Wine.” I was thinking through the words and in this season these are the words that stuck out to me:
“So I yield to You and to Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand”
The phrase “When I trust You I don’t need to understand” really challenged me. I don’t fully get why the answer is not yet besides the obvious of raising a new tiny human. But I think the lesson in this season is I need to strengthen my trust in God that He is preparing the next chapter, the new wine that He is going to pour out of my life. It’s coming. But not yet. And the challenge is to trust Him through the not yet to the coming yes.
Two of my reliable favorite Bible verses backed this up:
- Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
- Philippians 4:7 NIV: “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Trust doesn’t always mean understanding. Oh, I want to understand, but my understanding is faulty! Trust is the vehicle that will carry us through from doubt to God’s understanding, which will come eventually when the time is right. And God’s peace is available in the interim when we don’t understand. Our job is to keep trusting Him and keep looking forward toward what is next, even if the picture is currently foggy.
As the seasons continue to change, so will the chapters of life. I’m not parked here forever in the not yet. But while I am, I choose to take a deep breath and be okay with not fully understanding. I choose to strengthen my trust in God and believe for the next chapter to open and the new wine to flow from my life when I am ready for it.
Blessings,
~Lynne
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